Values: Your inner blueprint

Identify your values and change your life

You may have done a values process where someone gave you a dizzying list of say, 100 or more values.

You had to go through and pick the ones that are most prevalent to you. Yet what probably happened was you got overwhelmed with choices. You added ones you thought you 'should' have.

My process allows an inside-out approach. Rather than let a list frame your values, your vitality and life experiences reveal your values to you.

It's much more fun and effective than using a list. You will love it.

We will use four approaches to start excavating our values. 

INVITATION 

Get out your artist manual. This will take several pages and some time. Feel free to play with color, add a visual element or make your values exploration a work of art in itself. Whatever works for you is the right way. 

This four-part process guides you to identify a handful of values. Let the questions marinate throughout the week. Don’t expect to get this done in one go. 

I suggest using a string of words for each value. Each word gets closer to the heart of the value and helps to distinguish it. For instance, creativity as a value will mean something different for you than for me. For me it would look like this:

Creativity/play/beauty/

For you, it might be:

Creativity/expression/connection

Step One

Think of a peak experience. A time when you were feeling great. Write a few words to describe this experience. What made it so great? What values were you living in that moment?

Laughing it up with one of my favorite people in one of my favorite places after a week of good work.

Example:

A recent peak experience for me was co-leading a creativity workshop with Koosje Koene in Lisbon. We had a blast and the participants did too. We worked hard to design a great experience, and we had so much fun all the way through. So many of my values were honored in this experience. 

Values: 

• creative expression/personal empowerment/positive impact on others

• travel/exploration/learning

• expertise/good at what I do/having a positive impact

• community/connection/play

• humor/wit/wordplay 

When we reverse-engineer an experience like this to identify values, we can see why that experience was so great. When many values are honored in one moment, it creates a lasting impression. More of that, please!

Step Two 

Now, flip it. What makes you angry? Write down a few notes about what bothers you. Now look at the opposite of that and discover the values that lie hidden behind your peeves.

Example:

I hate it when people don’t honor traffic laws. It bothers me when people don’t respect the public space and others in it. 

Values:

• community/respect/integrity

• order/design/

Step Three 

Own your magic. What are you really good at? How would people describe you if they were talking about your greatest assets?

Example:

People would say that I am very neat and organized. They also remark on my enthusiasm. 

Values:

• order/clarity/productivity

• inspire/share/enthusiasm

Step Four

What is essential to your well-being? What do you refuse to live without?

Example:

I will not live without exercise. I must bicycle, play tennis, and practice yoga.

Values: health/body/feeling good/clearing the mind & emotions

play/fun/vitality

Use these processes to identify up to a dozen values. More is not better. Ten to twelve values are plenty. 

Affirmation: My values are revealed to me in an easy, organic way. 

What surprised you this process? If you have done your values before, what feels new to you now?